“Love to be real, it must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.” - St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta
It pains me to reflect on those moments I have come up short in the raising of our children. Any parent who does this will immediately have an example of their own come to mind. Maybe it was momentary neglect that led to an injury. Not taking interest in one of their interests. Losing one’s temper. It could be anything. For me, it is when I think about those moments I was distracted by some mundane task. So distracted that it caused me to miss one of the countless precious moments that collectively contribute to the ever-growing love a father has for his child. And what kills me the most about missing these moments is that I don’t even know what it was I missed.
It’s not fair for us to do this to ourselves. We are all undoubtedly doing the best we can. But by not reflecting on these failings, we may set ourselves up for letting them continue. I guess you could say it’s an act of contrition for us. By partaking in and embracing this self-reflection, I am at least able to strive toward fatherhood perfection, though, unattainable as it may be.
This type of contemplation is good, but it should not be the only reflecting we do. More important are the thoughts we devote to our wins. Those moments we may have doubted we could overcome before they were presented to us. It is in this type of meditation that we grow our love and embrace our responsibility to our most treasured gifts. When we look out at the world awaiting our children and tell ourselves that we will do whatever it takes to protect them. We owe them this much and more.
What we must remember, though, is that our protection isn’t just for while they are under our direct care, but even more so in our preparing them for what lies ahead. It’s a beautiful world, but it is also brutal. Showing them its beauty and the way through the brutal not only prepares them for this world, but sets them on the right path toward the next. Looking to the Father in heaven for help is a great start.
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